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Journal of Abundance

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----- 5 Oct '09 -----
he drives a truck

the sun shines clear
     i work the spade
a chill is in the air

a friend comes 'round
     he drives a truck
we talk of this and that

and in the end
     we both agree
it's good to have a chat

I was outside this morning  tilling a garden  bed in this
     hard-packed clay soil with a shovel.

One of the  friendliest people  I've ever met is the huge
     man (he's big enough to play pro football) that drives the recyclables truck.
     I swear,  his smile  is as big as the truck.

 He said he loved his work and was  glad to have it , and then he pointed out
     that we have much to be thankful for: some cannot even dig the earth.
     I like Patrick. He's a good man.
  

----- 4 Oct '09 -----
his life's a little room

i went to see my dad today
     his life's a little room

he lives that way from day to day
     but never speaks with gloom

he may forget what day it is
     and he does not know my name

a contented peaceful life is his
     how few can make that claim

Remarkably little  is required to feel that life is good.
     That realization is a signpost on the road to  Abundance .

I wish I could say I was "there." Alas, I only recently saw  the signpost .
     Of course, you have know where you're going if you're ever gonna get there.
    
I just wish it hadn't taken me  decades  to figure that out.



----- 3 Oct '09 -----
still i know

Though it is a dark day of the soul
     still i know the extent to which i am blessed

Though the tears may flow down my weathered cheeks
     still i know there is a joy inside

     a hot bath helps to calm the angst
     i close the ports of interruption

     the joy within is there i know
     it lies beyond corruption

Clearly today started as a  dark day . I have no idea how I can go to sleep at home
     peaceful and content only to find myself in  melancholy  the next morning.

It is a hallmark of  Abundance  that one can catch oneself as the  dark slide  begins.
     I am not always successful, and always I must  allow the tears  to flow.
   
I am convinced that we are carved by  the agency of tears—though it may take years—
     as surely as water carves the rock over which it flows—though it too takes years.


----- 2 Oct '09 -----
the kingdom of heaven

Please, dear God, help me to know
     the kingdom of heaven that lies deep within my own heart

Help me to love you
     with all my body, mind, heart, and soul

Help me to love others
     as you would have me love them

From this knowing and from this love
     the way to the kingdom of heaven shall be made known to all

and then, dear God, the resurrection of all who were 'dead'
     will come to pass
     and the kingdom of heaven within shall become
the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth

Become ye as little children
     and enter the Kingdom of Heaven

From my personal experiences and from the experiences of those
     I have guided, Abundance lies within.

One could readily substitute Abundance for the phrase
     kingdom of heaven in the open verse above
     and the verse would still have a ring of truth.


----- 1 Oct '09 -----
contentment

Though it is a wet and dreary day, my heart is content.
Though I am alone, I am at peace.
Though it is midday and still I am dressed for sleep...
I am satisfied with my good fortune. 

Upon awakening I was in a dark place: another morning with no one to cuddle.
I heard the rain... and lamented of a lost day in the garden.

As I began to write — under the same physical conditions — my mood changed:
     I began to feel warmed by the chill of Autumn, illumined by the dark gray sky,
     and content with the the flush cheeks of life  reflected back to me
     in the coral colors of this prayer and meditation room.

 A special room can be all that is needed to turn what could have been
     a dark slide to oblivion into a joyful time of work.


----- 30 Sep '09 -----

Poetry of Love: dance of delight

you came home weary and troubled this cold winter eve
   
     i danced with delight the moment you walked in the door

     i am your faithful puppy, tail wagging, always happy to see you

you smile

the room lights up

we  embrace

there are no troubles... only blessèd union

Part of my definition of abundance includes a loving relationship. I can't help myself, here. These verses must be written.
Deep within lies the daemon forcing that forces these prose.
This experience, these feelings... they are are part of the human experience we are all meant to know...
     that we might heal those wounds from so long ago.



----- 29 Sep '09 -----

Poetry of Love: the angels lament

i lie in bed  this morning watching you sleep and counting my blessings
     surely the angels are envious of you

i imagine their laments:

     •she is too lovely to be human

     •God meant her to be an angel

     •that man she is with will never pray to his angels again...
             why should he?

Why should he indeed
     God has placed a heavenly being at my earthly side

I have these visions, though I am single and live alone. Living alone is not my choice; it is for now my destiny,
     God's will, the plan of the universe, call it what you will. My angels tease me; they are forever looking after me.
When the beloved comes along: Oh, how jealous those angels will be! To have attained to Abundance fully,
     the beloved must appear. I ready my home, my heart, my soul.



----- 28 Sep '09 -----

Poetry of Love: our garden

i work in our garden on this cold and blustery day
     you see my chill and sense my fatigue
come, you say, have tea with me where a fire burns in the old clay stove
     i cannot resist you
one look into your warm eyes and there is no "I"
     there is only blessèd union
Mother/Father God has smiled upon me
     all those years alone would i gladly relive just to know this moment with you

I just can't help myself. I did work in the gardens today, but I live alone.
     and yet I have these  visions .
Are they  memories  of a long forgotten past?
     Or are they  reflections  of events still to come?

I do not know; all I do know is that  they bring me peace .
     Perhaps they are God sent?


----- 27 Sep '09 -----
attachment: Don't get too involved with the nightingale or the peacock. One is all words and the other all colors. - Rumi.  |•|   This quote is from The Pocket Rumi Reader transalted by Kabir Helminski.  I love this last half of verse 1078 from Rumi's Rubaiyat. It has such wide applicability in my life. Countless are the things that my brain attaches itself to and won't let go of, singing incessantly of them. And frequent are my  attachments to sensual pleasures that are "all colors".


----- 26 Sep '09 -----
happiness: I often tell my friends that I'm just not smart enough to know I'm not supposed to be happy. After a moment of knitted brows, a smile soon emerges.  |•|   I love doing this to friends, coffee shop baristas, or the person in front of me in the check out line at the grocery store. Privately, I have to remind myself constantly to stop thinking so much... just be. The great Sufi poet Rumi tells us that the past and the future are curtains that keep us from knowing God. If we substitute joy, happiness, well being or other phrases for God, his admonition to drop the curtains still applies.

----- 25 Sep '09 -----
a hollow dream: One dreary overcast day, laden with my laundry, on a course to I know not where, I took a short-cut through a small one-story building. Once inside that building, I found myself in a fast food restaurant, but this was no ordinary restaurant. Crewed by emotionless skeletons, and without a single table or chair upon its well-trodden floor, it radiated a palpable feeling of emptiness. As I approached the exit, the restaurant and the dream faded into the night.  |•|   I suspect that our money beliefs, both conscious and unconscious, are like an empty fast food restaurant staffed by minimum-wage skeletons, whose dining area is devoid of tables and chairs, booths and benches; whose marred and trodden floor bespeaks those billions dis-served. No nourishment is to be found in the food served there, and the structure is but an empty shell with no place to rest our weary bodies and disenchanted souls. What is served there only begets a hollow desire to have more — as do our beliefs about money.




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